My husband looks like he’s laughing, but he’s screaming in agony.
"man this essay is taking forever"
That made me laugh harder than it should
Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”
When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”
And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard
you tip them right over the edge of a bridge
you fucking didn’t
*puts metaphor between cigarette* it’s a teeth
Australia’s Stay in School Campaign ain’t f’ing around.
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN I AM ACTUALLY CRYING
i need an hour or two to recover after watching this
nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
There’s an East Wind coming.
it’s a metaphor
The best part is that the crab is the symbol for the zodiac sign Cancer, so in a way even the crab itself is a metaphor
Mark Gatiss, James McAvoy & Martin Freeman attend the Laurence Olivier Awards in London (April 13, 2014)